Weasel Skeet: Chapter XX

Weasel Skeet

Chapter XX: In Which Argent Might be a Robot


After getting out of the taxi, the walk to the front door of Henry’s house left Vane completely out of breath. It was too dark to see the lawn, but Vane could only believe it was magnificent. Henry had less of a hard time as he flew over to the front door without any struggle. While he waited for Vane to catch up, he took the time to find the keys to the front doors which he had misplaced somewhere on his person, most likely in his pocket-filled wool sweater. There was an unnatural number of pockets all over the cashmere, most of which, Vane assumed, were sewn on after it was purchased due to the thread showing a completely different colour on the pockets placed in stranger locations. Next he checked the vinyl trousers he wore to no avail. Upon Vane’s arrival to the front door, he conveniently found them in the pocket of his trench coat, the last place he suspected.

He unlocked the door and they entered. Henry strolled in casually as though he had only been away from the home for the day. There was no sign of age to the house, no dust, no cobwebs, no wear anywhere. As Henry was hanging up his coat on the coat rack he said, “Take care of him, won’t you, Argent?” He then disappeared somewhere into the house, holding the documents under his arm. Vane looked around, confused. Standing at the top of the stairs was a strange man with strange metalic silver markings and blotches on his hands and face. He moved robotically and spoke in a similar manner.

“Yes, Henry.

Hello, sir. Please come this way.”

“Ah, hello. Are you Argent?”

“Yes, I am Argent. Please come this way. Henry does not want any of his belongings touched, moved, or otherwise tampered with. You will be allowed to use the bed for sleeping purposes only, the lamps in your designated room for seeing only, the doorknobs for entering and exiting the room only. Henry is also allowing you the use of one of the guest washrooms. You will be provided proper hygiene supplies and allowed access to the sink, shower, and toilet only. Henry will allow you an outfit to wear for sleeping and for tomorrow morning. He informed me that he is going to be getting you a wardrobe for your new living arrangements. Is that clear?”

“May I use the lights in the water closet?”

“Yes. Now is everything clear?”

“I didn’t know Henry was so rigid.”

“He likes his privacy and he likes his order. Now is everything clear?”

“What are you to Henry, Argent?”

“I am Henry’s servant. Now is everything clear?”

“Could you stop asking that?”

“I need a response, Mr Lobby. I have to inform Henry that you will abide by the rules of the house. Now is everything clear?”

“Yeah…yes, everything’s clear.”

“Good. Now in the morning, promptly at seven, you will be awoken. You will proceed with preparing for breakfast. Henry will allow you in the dining room for that period of supervised time. I will be supervising. Henry will also be attending. After breakfast, Henry will take you to the bank and show you your new quarters. Is that clear?”

“I thought I just got out of prison…”

“I apologise for Henry’s attitude towards his guests, but I cannot disobey him. Now is everything clear?”

“Yes, it’s all clear. In the morning get ready and go to breakfast…and don’t touch anything.”

“I will personally escort you to the dining hall. Is that clear?”

“Yes.”

“Henry has asked me to ask you how you’d like your eggs. How would you like your eggs?”

“I don’t know. I’ll have them how Henry’s having them.”

“Very well. Have you any questions for me before I leave you for the night?”

“Just one…Has anyone else ever been a guest here? I mean, has anyone else ever stayed here as a guest.”

“Mr Lobby, you are the first guest Henry has ever had in his home. It is a rare honour and I advise you obey all his rules. Is that clear?”

“Yes, very clear.”